Friday, June 3, 2016

Counting the Omer: Saturday Night, 4 June 2016/28 Iyar 5776

Today is Day One of Week Seven of the Omer.  That is Forty-three Days of the Omer.  The Theme is:  Seven Principles

So here we are, starting the seventh and final week of the annual countdown from Pesach to Shavu’ot, known as Sefirat Ha-omer:  The Counting of the Omer.  It is customary during this time of the year, to become a little more serious and contemplative.  Shavu’ot represents the anniversary of the Sinai event.  We should experience each special Jewish day that commemorates a past event, as if we were experiencing the actual event present tense.  We therefore endeavour to prepare our hearts to receive the Torah, just as if Moses was even now ascending the mountain.
          I’ve devoted five full weeks of these daily thoughts, to the subject of Happiness, because I think there is no more important subject.  Being Happy is not just a desirable state, it is nothing short of an obligation.  And in truth, it is not always an easy obligation to fulfil.  First and foremost, because most of us go through life not even understanding what Happiness truly is.  And then, assuming we’ve crossed that hurdle, there are so many distractions along the way.  Sometimes it seems like happiness is, well, just hard work!  So many of us anaesthetise ourselves, seeking comfort and solace in things which are definitely not Happiness.
          Today, I’m going to start the final week of thoughts by digging up the seven most profound lessons of life that I’ve encountered.  These lessons are not original to me; they come from the late Dr. Stephen Covey, from his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.  In presenting these ‘habits’ as life principles, I don’t mean to pre-empt Dr. Covey’s book.  If you haven’t yet read it, please find yourself a copy – or download it for your Kindle – and read.  For many people, myself included, Seven Habits has been life-changing.  Although it somehow gets classified as a ‘business book’ on some lists, it really has little to do with business – except that the insights one gains from it cannot but help you in business, or any other life path.  So, enjoy my daily thoughts based on the Seven Habits – but also order the book!
          The First of the Seven Habits is:  Be Proactive.  Most of us are familiar with the word, ‘proactive,’ which was actually coined by Dr. Covey.  It’s commonly thought of as the opposite of ‘reactive’ and that is Covey’s intent.  But in many people’s minds, it refers to the temporal realm meaning ‘act before something happens, rather than after.’  Now this is pretty good advice:  anticipate needs and prepare for them, rather than flailing around to account for circumstances as they occur.  It’s hard to argue that point.  But in truth, this is not what Covey had in mind when he coined ‘proactive.’
          Be Proactive means to act on Principle rather than circumstance.  It’s really much more profound than just getting a leg up on what might occur.  It means to be firm in our support of the principles that support your core values.  It means to work to brush asides emotions that can become overheated, and act in a way that supports what you believe to be right.  This is not easy to do.  First of all, because most of us are not truly aware of what our underlying core values are.  We know what we want.  But to know what values motivate you comes only after a process of self-searching and discernment.  The second big impediment to acting on principle is our prizing pragmatism.  Being pragmatic – acting according to circumstance – is usually more efficient and, at least in an immediate sense, effective – than being dogmatic.  And some pragmatism is probably a good thing.  We can’t always choose our world, or choose our battles.  Sometimes we do have to go along to get along.  We can’t fight every day of our lives.  But excessive pragmatism leads to moral complacency.  We would be well-advised, then, to stop to think about every sticky situation – obviously, when we have the luxury of time to think! – and decide to violate our principles only in situations where we can see a clear, long-term benefit in doing so and are willing to stick to our long-term plans.

          Every time I am put in the position of acting on circumstance, I ask myself:  If I’m going to Be Proactive, what am I going to do here?  Often, I have stuck to my principles at a great cost, and that’s okay.  Sometimes, I’ve decided not to take up the battle.  I have, from time to time, regretted either course – usually, because the results were not what I’d hoped for.  But the important thing is to be able to sleep well at night or, to put it differently, to be able to look yourself in the eye – in the bathroom mirror, every morning.  At the end of the day, that’s what matters in life.  A good week, all!

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